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Details of Toxic Positivity by Whitney Goodman Book

• Book Name: Toxic Positivity by Whitney Goodman
• Authors: Seth Godin
• Pages: 236
• Genre: Self Help
• Publish Date: Feb 1, 2022
• Language: English

Book Review:

Toxic Positivity by Whitney Goodman this book and i was nervous because i did not want to see myself in it um i am someone who leans into positive psychology you know uh um a big fan of the perma theory of wellness and i do really work hard to prioritize positivity in my life  

So i read this incredibly nervous because i didn't want to to come away thinking i was toxically positive we share the same editor marion uh lindsay is our weeble for tertiary uh authors and we share the same editor 

it's it's brilliant and it made me think so much and i can't wait to reread it on a plane um next week um but i will also admit this it was sitting on my kitchen table and my eight-year-old said to me mom are you mad at that book how can positivity be toxic and that's really where i would love to start the conversation because 

i do think it's a head scratcher for so many people in a world where these platitudes of positivity are plastered all over the place in a world where my eight-year-old asked me if this book made me mad so can we start there please talk to us about what the heck is toxic positivity yeah 

i love that you had that reaction to the book because i think those are the people that need to read it the most and find out uh what's beneath that feeling but toxic positivity is really just this unrelenting pressure to be happy or be pursuing happiness and positivity all the time no matter what the circumstances and it's something that we use against ourselves with other people and it's also just this overarching theme 

i think throughout our world so i often think one of the best ways to understand toxic positivity um is by looking at some of these platitudes and sort of breaking them down um like i mean some of them for instance where people say it all the time and have no concept that these things can be hurtful or problematic so like what's one 

where do you want to start like good vibes only yeah good vibes only um some of the big offenders everything happens for a reason that's when i hear all the time and i think we have to remember that these phrases are not toxic on their own they've become toxic right when we use them in situations where they don't apply or where they're dismissive so if you see like a good vibes only sign in a restaurant okay whatever 

but if you're saying that to somebody who's hurting or struggling it can be particularly harmful now does it diffuse it a little bit so okay good vibes is it the only that really pushes over the edge and makes it incredibly toxic so i sometimes say good vibes mostly you know i'm striving for good vibes um but i have some really days but my goal is to have more good days than bad for sure 

i think what happens with good vibes only is that sometimes people will say this and they're like i don't want anyone around me that drains my energy i'm cutting all the negative people out of my life only gonna have good vibes and when we say things like this it makes everyone around us who's having a bad day grieving going through something hard kind of scared like oh am i gonna get cut am 

i not gonna be able to be around you anymore and it doesn't make room for a lot of other emotions or experiences so that's something i i talk about and i'm curious about your take on this and when people say look on the bright side because that is certainly toxic positivity right a classic example of toxic positivity and what i like to talk about is that i i do look on the bright side but i also look on the dark side 

i look at all the sides and do you feel like that is a distinction absolutely so the difference between like healthy positivity and toxic positivity would be that distinction if someone's always telling you to look on the bright side never acknowledge the dark side or maybe even pretend it's not there that would be toxic positivity 

i think it's very healthy for us to naturally say here's what sucks here's the neutral part and here's what is possible or what's good or what i have hoped for um there's some other examples that that i think are some people like this is a great one life will never give you more than you can handle i hate that one throw up in my mouth right but 

i but i think that if people have been so conditioned to spew this crap that they don't even understand why they're saying it so can you break down why that again can be so detrimental to someone in in a tough situation yeah so we have to think about situations where people are dealing with loss grief trauma things that happen to them that are unexplainable and as a therapist 

i hear a lot of this stuff is why i'm more aware of it maybe than the average person and when you tell someone who's had something really horrific happen to them that life will never give them more than they can handle it really sets them up in the space of like 

i have to handle this i can't ask for help um and also almost like this is meant for me like i was abused as a child or this horrible thing happened to me because i'm strong and i'm gonna deal with it and really a lot of us can't handle that stuff nor should we have to i think you wrote something that's like you didn't deserve it 

you may learn a lesson from it but it doesn't mean you don't have to wish it didn't happen or that you don't have to be grateful for it um and maybe we should talk about gratitude because i i it's so so interesting and i am somebody who definitely has an attitude of gratitude because it helps me prioritize what's important to me in life 

but can you talk about um gratitude in our culture and and what has happened with this uh be grateful kind of mentality yeah so i think whenever a new psychological intervention comes out that is free and easy to like disseminate to the masses we see this huge surge of obsession with 

it and that's what happened with gratitude where everyone's like you need a gratitude practice make a list of gratitude whatever and it becomes like the golden ticket to being happy and what i noticed in my therapy practice was people were coming in and being like i know i should be grateful but i know 

i have so much to be grateful for but i'm also upset about this and it became this tool of shame in a way of like people were making themselves feel bad by using gratitude and that is literally the opposite of what it's supposed to do and that's a problem i think so how what what's a healthy way to implement gratitude in your life so i find gratitude works best for me and for my own clients when it flows naturally and what that means is more just that i notice it throughout the day and call attention to it 

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