How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Book Review

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie number one talk in terms of the other person's interests you bait the hook that suits the fish would you put your favorite food on a hook and cast out in the water

If you're fishing now you put worms on the hook because that's what fish like same with people let's say I want to get you to play basketball please come play basketball with me I love basketball the gym I go to is very small it's very old there's not a lot of people there please come with me I want to play basketball not very effective but how about this hey

I think if you come play basketball with me it'll be great exercise for you also you said that work is really stressing you out I think this can really clear your head see in the second example I was giving you the benefits I was talking in terms of your interests not mine you'll be way more effective if you have bait the hook that suits the fish I hit

Number two give honest and sincere appreciation there's a difference between being sincere and using flattery flattery is like using counterfeit money eventually it's going to get you in trouble so don't do it here's an example of flattery

Let's say your boss got a haircut hey boss love the haircut oh well thank you hey boss can I leave early you might have meant the compliment you gave him but because you're asking for something it seems like it's flattering what about this scenario hey Molly

I thought you did a great presentation today you're an excellent public speaker oh no well thank you hey Molly uh you want to go out sometime again it I could have meant the compliment I gave her but because I'm asking her out it seems like flattery so anytime you give someone a form of appreciation some praise do it from the goodness of your heart and don't expect anything in we're people will love you for that I did

Number three call attention to people's mistakes indirectly big idea here is swapping but-for and here's the first scenario hey Johnny you have an A in math and that's fantastic but you have a C in English and really need to work on that the other way of saying it hey Johnny you have an

A in math that's great and if you keep this hardwork up I'm sure your English grade will improve you see I pointed out in the second scenario that Johnny's grade in english needs to improve but i did it indirectly i did

Number four I've combined the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it and if you're wrong admit it quickly and emphatically one example being when I started off as a pharmacist I got keys to the pharmacy opened it up closed it up but one night it was just a very busy and stressful night

I closed the pharmacy did not lock it my boss called me the following day and said hey Michael I noticed you didn't lock up the pharmacy nothing got taken I just wanted to bring it to your attention I could have got all defensive and said it was such a busy and crazy day I don't know what I'm doing I and and nothing got stolen so there's no big deal

but I admitted I was wrong and I did, in fact, Lee sir I'm just so sorry I was so careless of me I can't believe this we could have lost so much money there's like half a million dollars of medication in there I just can't believe I did that Michael don't worry about it it sounds just bring it to your attention so you don't do it next time just forget about it

I've noticed when you admit you're wrong quickly and emphatically the other person all of a sudden becomes on your side they're making excuses for you it's unbelievable so avoid arguments and admit that you're wrong quickly and emphatically idea

Number five talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person one example here I remember this big guy in the gym came up to me he noticed I was squatting long when I was bending down my knees would kind of close in and almost tap each other but what he said was a young man

I noticed that when you squat your knees touch each other I'm only telling you this because I did the same thing and I had to get knee surgery I stopped doing that but I imagine if he came up to me and said hey kid you're doing that wrong do it like this you need to spread out your knees

I would have said forget this guy he doesn't know what he's talking about I know my stuff I'm gonna keep doing it my way because he pointed out his mistake first I was more receptive to his suggestion I did

Number 6 what the other person that saved face if someone made a mistake or they're wrong never do it in front of a group of people try your best to do it one on one but the big idea here I use all the time is I may be wrong there's this one woman I saw in the grocery store had probably 50 containers of this Greek yogurt and was stating this is calorie-free this is amazing

I'm gonna lose so much weight and I knew that it wasn't calorie free I believe it was sugar free because I had sugar alcohol in it and all I did is I went up to her and I said ma'am I may be wrong but I think it's zero sugar not zero calories then she glanced at the yogurt and said oh yeah yes you're right but if I didn't say I may be wrong it might have come across as me attacking her and she probably wouldn't have listened to what

I had to say give the other person a fine reputation to live up to let's say you have a five-year-old son he's coloring on the walls you've told him several times to stop but he just won't you've gone up to him say hey look I've told you a thousand times just stop doing it again he's still drawing on the walls but what if you went up to him and say hey you're a big boy now big boys don't color on the walls he probably stopped right

I can think of an example at work I was working with this teenager who was late a couple times I'm just surprised that you're late it just doesn't fit in line with how I see you and once I told him that once I gave him that reputation to live up to he wasn't late ever again if the other person saying yes yes immediately Socrates would use this to his opponents he would ask a bunch of very simple questions just to get his opponents to say yes

Yes and over time as they kept buying into his suggestions and his ideas he would eventually win over his opposition to his way of thinking here's a basic example here you could use it for a date let's say there's some girl you like some guy you like and you to them and say hey do you like sushi they'll say

Yes are you off Friday again it'll say yes that's when you could offer your proposal hey if you want to get sushi with me Friday night maybe they'll say no maybe they'll say yes but if you got them to say yes yes they'll be more likely to say yes to your date request and that's a sales tactic try to get you to say yes yes so that when they offer the big proposal you'll be more likely to say yes and buy their product idea

Number nine let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers people don't want to feel like they're being sold something or to admit they're wrong

So it's best to get them to think that the idea you're proposing is theirs here's an example of me I was working with the doctor there are some patients that were on some medication that were very old and outdated there are some newer medications that were more effective all

I did is I printed out a clinical trial that had the new medicine and the old medicine and showed how the new medicine was better I just had him read it I didn't even say anything he'd read the trial and said hmm it looks like this medication is better

I'm thinking we should switch to this medication he thought the idea was his and honestly I don't care I just wanted the patient to have a better medicine but now the doctor doesn't have to feel like he made a mistake for putting them on the other medication and he feels good about swapping his decision it's a win-win because I let him believe the idea was his idea

Number 10 praised the slightest improvement and praised every improvement in the book they say be Hardy in your approbation and lavish in your praise this goes for maybe new people that you just hired every slight improvement to say hey great job hey like look

where you were when you started and look where you are now you're doing so great all the smallest things it seems so silly but I've noticed when I do this they start improving so much faster they feel

So much better about their skill set in their abilities and it just works and this applies to you as well let's say you're going to the gym you're lifting weights and you're one of the weakest people in the gym but each week you're adding about 5 pounds to your benchpress every time you get a new max just celebrate it feel give yourself some fist bumps that's what it's all about so every time you see improvement praise other and praise yourself this is Michael onks I hope these ideas add value to you and if you want more book reviews like this you can subscribe to my channel today and hit the bell notifications so you don't miss anything this is your friend Michael on since buying you to learn laugh and love hope you enjoy this video and I'll see you in the next one.

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